Best Podcast Episodes About Ready or Not Collection
Everything podcasters are saying about Ready or Not Collection — curated from top podcasts
Updated: Apr 02, 2026 – 38 episodes
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Top Podcast Clips About Ready or Not Collection
“… such an animal. He is kombucha. He has kombucha in him, I feel like, dude. Yeah, it's all kombucha. He doesn't have piss anymore. It's fermented already. No, but this guy would touch my elbow, and he would do a slight massage on him, and that's when it kind of cooked me up. You got a vape in here by chance, Joe? No. We got this. You want a cigar We got smelling salts You want a cigar No they make me sick They do Yeah it makes me feel sad Sad Yeah No I gave up on those Nicotine vapes are very addictive Yeah. Boy. I know. They make you grab for them. You want to take a hit off of them. And I …”
“… them? Yeah. How many have you seen? Jesus Christ. Honestly, live and in person. You can count them on one hand. Jamie's only seen a handful of dicks, and two of them are Ari's. Ari's pissed in fucking kombucha bottles in this room so many times. He is such an animal. He is kombucha. He has kombucha in him, I feel like, dude. Yeah, it's all kombucha. He doesn't have piss anymore. It's fermented already. No, but this guy would touch my elbow, and he would do a slight massage on him, and that's when it kind of cooked me up. You got a vape in here by chance, Joe? No. We got this. You want a cigar We got smelling salts You want a cigar No they make me sick They do Yeah it makes me feel sad Sad Yeah No I gave up on those Nicotine vapes are very addictive Yeah. Boy. I know. They make you grab for them. You want to take a hit off of them. And I decided at one point in time, I'm not taking these anymore. I'm stopping with these. Oh, I remember, dude. Remember you and I were using them one time. We kept using that thing, and yeah. There's something in them. It's not just the nicotine. I'll tell you the story. Because these things, like Alps, I have no problem not taking these. I went on a trip, …”
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In this hilarious segment, the hosts dive into the absurdity of Christopher Columbus's conquests, questioning how he turned a simple exploration into a gold-hunting spree. The banter takes a wild turn when they discuss how Columbus and his crew were 'drinking smoke,' blending history with outrageous humor that leaves you laughing.
“It's true. That's true. Who told you? For me, it was, there were a few comedians, funny enough, who told me this. Oh, that's cool. You were already friends with comedians before you were a comedian? South Africa is so small. That's what I mean by- Right. Anything's possible. Yeah. Remember, we get democracy in 1994. I'm 10 years old. So everything is this new world. Wow. Yeah. Right? Free speech wasn't around before that. Comedy wasn't really a thing before. So everything, everyone in like my …”
“It's true. That's true. Who told you? For me, it was, there were a few comedians, funny enough, who told me this. Oh, that's cool. You were already friends with comedians before you were a comedian? South Africa is so small. That's what I mean by- Right. Anything's possible. Yeah. Remember, we get democracy in 1994. I'm 10 years old. So everything is this new world. Wow. Yeah. Right? Free speech wasn't around before that. Comedy wasn't really a thing before. So everything, everyone in like my generation, this band that was growing up, especially in Johannesburg, we all knew each other. Wow, that's true. Everyone. So it's like you knew the president's son, but you also knew like a taxi driver. But you also like everyone. It was this really small band that was growing up together. It was really, it was a magical moment, honestly. And so I knew a …”
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Atsuko Okatsuka shares how a few friends recognized her comedic potential, leading her to explore stand-up comedy after growing up in post-apartheid South Africa. With no established comedy scene, she turned to Craigslist to find classes, highlighting the importance of having someone believe in you before you can believe in yourself.
“… Right. But if they're intelligent, they should. Right. But the problem is, again, it's the issue of like every feeling is valid. And I also think there's been a thing in the last 10 years of like feelings now are like messages from God. And they can be. And you can have feelings that are real. but like why I didn't like cognitive behavioral therapy was like I think it's okay to have a bad feeling and just notice that it's bad yeah and then reflect on why you are having that reaction but and do nothing about it you could do something about it but I felt myself like in cognitive behavioral …”
“… malpractice what is going on with some people I know. The amount of misinformation they're being fed? I'm like, your therapist said you should do fucking what? They should be in jail. Well, they're not supposed to say that you should do anything. Right. But if they're intelligent, they should. Right. But the problem is, again, it's the issue of like every feeling is valid. And I also think there's been a thing in the last 10 years of like feelings now are like messages from God. And they can be. And you can have feelings that are real. but like why I didn't like cognitive behavioral therapy was like I think it's okay to have a bad feeling and just notice that it's bad yeah and then reflect on why you are having that reaction but and do nothing about it you could do something about it but I felt myself like in cognitive behavioral therapy being like this person makes me feel like this and it's like well that's not okay and like you know maybe you should be cutting that person out of your life and I'm like well Shouldn't we think about maybe I'm fucking bringing something on the fucking table that's crazy? Would you push for that? You'd be like, or could it be me? Yeah. And would …”
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In this hilarious segment, Sarah Sherman critiques the state of therapy, suggesting that therapists should be more assertive with their clients. Her outrageous claim that some therapists deserve jail time for malpractice sets a comedic tone, leading to a wild discussion about self-care and personal accountability that leaves listeners laughing and questioning their own therapy experiences.
“Let's go get some chicken. I will absolutely meet you at Love and Honey. I really love it there so much. I will comment on food Instagrams that I follow and be like, I miss you. or like i can't wait and i truly my brain thinks that it's like it's a good idea i do it there's a bakery at the shore and i shit you not they tease like hey we're opening back up april 3rd and i'm like i can't wait to see you miss you people people opening the comments and just seeing kylie kelsey literally y'all hey y'all can't wait to get that pastry is she …”
“Let's go get some chicken. I will absolutely meet you at Love and Honey. I really love it there so much. I will comment on food Instagrams that I follow and be like, I miss you. or like i can't wait and i truly my brain thinks that it's like it's a good idea i do it there's a bakery at the shore and i shit you not they tease like hey we're opening back up april 3rd and i'm like i can't wait to see you miss you people people opening the comments and just seeing kylie kelsey literally y'all hey y'all can't wait to get that pastry is she doing i'm like i can't wait for pop-tarts businesswoman wife mother just truly forsaking everything to be in the comments of a pastry shop that's my sliding sliding into dms being like miss you dude there was a big thing do you know what a p whip is pineapple whip what like don whip yeah who calls it that sorry fuck is this a missouri thing there is …”
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Kylie and Caleb hilariously dissect the absurdity of a dessert shop called 'P-Whip,' leading to a comedic brainstorm about opening an all-women Dole Whip shop named 'Pussy Whipped.' The banter escalates as they discuss the social significance of this seasonal treat in Springfield, Missouri, making it a must-attend event or risk social suicide.
“and kingdoms and stuff. So that's sort of what Mesoamerica is. But the Aztecs probably came from somewhere in the American Southwest. they're colonizers too absolutely yeah i understand your framing now you're like they have done this somebody else is going to do this and this is the history of the world and it doesn't mean it's okay it just is the history of particularly the americas nobody the americas colonize each other over and over and over and over and over and over again like just for for for at least 13 000 years that's what was going on …”
“and kingdoms and stuff. So that's sort of what Mesoamerica is. But the Aztecs probably came from somewhere in the American Southwest. they're colonizers too absolutely yeah i understand your framing now you're like they have done this somebody else is going to do this and this is the history of the world and it doesn't mean it's okay it just is the history of particularly the americas nobody the americas colonize each other over and over and over and over and over and over again like just for for for at least 13 000 years that's what was going on the first ones were the clovis culture that came in and they pushed all the pre-Clovis people out and just like took over the Americas and then you've got Folsom culture and it goes up on and on and on and on and on forever and you can just see cultures just disappearing and being swallowed up by other cultures I mean it's just that's what was going …”
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The Aztecs, pushed out of their homeland, are compared to vultures circling for a new territory, but their reputation as savage conquerors has everyone telling them to 'go back to America!' The segment humorously highlights how European explorers were just the latest in a long line of colonizers, all while poking fun at the cold, inhospitable conditions that bred their raiding culture.
“And here's the thing. Before I went, we talked about this, guys. You guys said, hey, I know you're not allowed to say, so when you come back, we're going to ask you if you want to go travel anywhere. And I was going to do Papua New Guinea. I forgot. Or Papua New Guinea. No, I remember that. Papa New Guinea! I didn't want him to reveal it. I didn't ask him that on purpose. Oh. Because whatever it was, I wanted it to be, regardless, him in the crowd or …”
“And here's the thing. Before I went, we talked about this, guys. You guys said, hey, I know you're not allowed to say, so when you come back, we're going to ask you if you want to go travel anywhere. And I was going to do Papua New Guinea. I forgot. Or Papua New Guinea. No, I remember that. Papa New Guinea! I didn't want him to reveal it. I didn't ask him that on purpose. Oh. Because whatever it was, I wanted it to be, regardless, him in the crowd or him on the show, a surprise. I swear, if you would have asked him if he's traveling anywhere and he said Papa New Guinea, I'd be like, cool, when are you going? I did not remember that. So you go down and you're on contestants row. Correct. And a little bit of this we did yesterday, but it was such a blur, so I'm going to ask again. If I'm asking …”
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Lunchbox recounts his nerve-wracking experience on The Price is Right, where he feared choking in front of the audience. The funniest moment comes when he realizes he can't use his nickname and has to introduce himself as 'Lunchbox' to Drew Carey, leading to hilarious banter about his journey and the pressure of competing.
“… doesn't have to redo it if I mess it up. I've gotten pretty good at it. I haven't even done weaponized incompetence. Oh, let's hope not. When it comes to this, okay. Still on the table. Folding a t-shirt, okay, go for it, maybe. It's still annoying, but helping with your child that you 50-50 are responsible for, you know? Yeah. I don't want to be the dad that doesn't know how to do this stuff. That doesn't mean I want to do it all the time, but I'm happy to do it as much as needed. What if moms said that? I think it could be different. It could be if dad stayed and was with the baby a lot in …”
“… quick rock, paper, scissors. Rock it fast. That's two out of three. Loser has to go change the poopy diaper. You and Caitlin are both competitive. I thought you'd love the idea. You know, luckily, she doesn't care, doesn't mind doing it. and she also doesn't have to redo it if I mess it up. I've gotten pretty good at it. I haven't even done weaponized incompetence. Oh, let's hope not. When it comes to this, okay. Still on the table. Folding a t-shirt, okay, go for it, maybe. It's still annoying, but helping with your child that you 50-50 are responsible for, you know? Yeah. I don't want to be the dad that doesn't know how to do this stuff. That doesn't mean I want to do it all the time, but I'm happy to do it as much as needed. What if moms said that? I think it could be different. It could be if dad stayed and was with the baby a lot in the daytime. That's true because you are coming in. Yes, it's not a mom and dad thing. It's not a woman or man thing. Valid. Yeah, so. And so that's why you can't rock, paper, scissor. Put your fangs back in. Sorry. I just, you know, thought popped into my head. When you get home from work, imagine getting home. You've been at work for several …”
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In a hilarious twist on parenting, a listener shares how her family uses rock, paper, scissors to decide who changes the poopy diaper. The hosts riff on the absurdity of this method, imagining the chaos it would cause if dads used it after a long day at work. The segment is packed with relatable humor and light-hearted banter about the realities of diaper duty.
“… it and think no one is more people want to people want to see you succeed but most people sometimes they don't but then if they don't and you have a comeback they like that too and being in New York you have to have thick skin so I developed it here man and it's worked great for me you bring up a great point our culture is funny because they love to build you up but they don't always love to see you stay up there because then they love to knock you down and then they love to see you build yourself back up again after they've built you up and knocked you down. It's almost like they want to yo-yo …”
“… their mom took them trick-or-treating. And it's very easy for me to criticize what you do. I can't do what you do. But I know one thing I could do what those guys were doing. They couldn't do what I was doing at the time. So I just always look at it and think no one is more people want to people want to see you succeed but most people sometimes they don't but then if they don't and you have a comeback they like that too and being in New York you have to have thick skin so I developed it here man and it's worked great for me you bring up a great point our culture is funny because they love to build you up but they don't always love to see you stay up there because then they love to knock you down and then they love to see you build yourself back up again after they've built you up and knocked you down. It's almost like they want to yo-yo you. Yes, that's exactly what it is. Yeah, but I will tell you, if you could build yourself back up after getting knocked down, then you almost feel like nothing could take you down again, you know, unless you do something to sabotage yourself. But I enjoy that. I enjoy being challenged. I enjoy people doubting. I think that's what motivates me, to …”
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Michael Strahan hilariously contrasts the brutal feedback of football coaches with the gentle criticism from TV producers, revealing his unique take on handling public perception. His quip about not letting critics upset him because they last wore a football uniform on Halloween is a standout moment that showcases his comedic timing and resilience.
“Okay, so there's a popular steakhouse, right, that got sued by 750 servers that worked for this company. And because the company had a mandatory tip pool. So basically, whatever tip you made at the end of the night, 10%, 15%, there's a certain percentage that would go into a tip pool. And then the restaurant... Are they keeping some of it? Well, the restaurant would share it to other people in the restaurant that didn't get tips. Oh, like kitchen staff? Okay, …”
“Okay, so there's a popular steakhouse, right, that got sued by 750 servers that worked for this company. And because the company had a mandatory tip pool. So basically, whatever tip you made at the end of the night, 10%, 15%, there's a certain percentage that would go into a tip pool. And then the restaurant... Are they keeping some of it? Well, the restaurant would share it to other people in the restaurant that didn't get tips. Oh, like kitchen staff? Okay, so far, I'm okay with it. Sounds great, right? However there is a law that the Fair Labor Standards Act that says employers are not allowed to keep tips received by employees for any purpose They can keep them They cannot What about distributing them They cannot do anything with it So what we did when I was waiting tables we had to tip our bus …”
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A steakhouse gets hit with a $21 million lawsuit after 750 servers claim their mandatory tip pooling was illegal. The hosts hilariously debate the fairness of tipping kitchen staff while one of them shares his voice acting gig as 'Dan Dan the Weatherman,' leading to a fun comparison of his career to Tom Hanks in Toy Story.
“… You were trying to sign a contract. No. Okay. But then once he didn't want to sign it, I said I need my money. How much money are we talking here? In the thousands. We don't know yet. We don't know. Hit the next one, Ray. My question is on Lunchbox and the Robin Hood series. If he had taken the money out already and then he got hacked, why doesn't he have the money to pay Amy? He said he was bringing the money into Amy and she wasn't there. So he should have the money already. Yeah, but once she wasn't here, I put it back in my account. That's not true. That's not true. You took it out, …”
“… lot of money from this account. Well, we may not have any money. Well, that sounds like a you problem. It's a business problem. No, no. That's why I was trying to have you sign a contract. You should have just got your money. I was trying. No, you weren't. You were trying to sign a contract. No. Okay. But then once he didn't want to sign it, I said I need my money. How much money are we talking here? In the thousands. We don't know yet. We don't know. Hit the next one, Ray. My question is on Lunchbox and the Robin Hood series. If he had taken the money out already and then he got hacked, why doesn't he have the money to pay Amy? He said he was bringing the money into Amy and she wasn't there. So he should have the money already. Yeah, but once she wasn't here, I put it back in my account. That's not true. That's not true. You took it out, then you drove it back to the bank because she wasn't here. Because I can't just have that much cash laying around the house. Then you're a target. Not if nobody knows. How do you? I mean, what's the chance someone saw me come out of the bank? They can follow you. Amy talks about it all the time. Lifetime movies. I talk about retaliation. If …”
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In this hilarious segment, Lunchbox tries to explain why he owes Amy thousands of dollars while claiming he got scammed. The absurdity peaks when he insists that if a business gets hacked, it's not his fault, leading to a chaotic debate about trust and money. Their banter is filled with witty comebacks and a comedic exploration of financial mishaps.
“… about it is that I grew on the show and I got to do what I love for so long. And I'm very lucky in the sense that as I did it for a decade, I've come out of it with a love for it still, with a real deep love for what I do. Because I know a lot of people who start at 12 or 13 enjoy it at that point, and then they reach adulthood and they're like, this is just not what I want to do with my life. And that's such an understandable, normal process to go through. There's so many things that you invest so much of your time with as a teenager or even as a younger kid. and it's just like weirdly it's …”
“It's a weird situation to jump into my 20s now. What's really wonderful about it is that I grew on the show and I got to do what I love for so long. And I'm very lucky in the sense that as I did it for a decade, I've come out of it with a love for it still, with a real deep love for what I do. Because I know a lot of people who start at 12 or 13 enjoy it at that point, and then they reach adulthood and they're like, this is just not what I want to do with my life. And that's such an understandable, normal process to go through. There's so many things that you invest so much of your time with as a teenager or even as a younger kid. and it's just like weirdly it's just something you grow out of and something you just you realize you want to go down a different path and sometimes that can be really stressful for younger people especially in careers because it's such a public endeavor and usually people who take a step back or find a career shift or just choose not to engage as much with it there's like a …”
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Gaten Matarazzo hilariously breaks down the absurdity of society's obsession with fame, revealing that many who step back from the spotlight are actually thriving in their personal lives. He quips about how people assume fame is the ultimate goal, while in reality, it can lead to misery if that's all you chase.
“… Right. And then people forget. Forget COVID. How many died? How many died? Let's put all the numbers together and that is your ladybug. Well, here's the thing. I'll tell you what's crazy about this goddamn country. It was pretty clear that COVID came from a lab and not from a wet market. And anybody who suggested that it came from a lab instead of a wet market was pilloried and destroyed in this country. Now that is the most insane thing in the world because because China I mean you have to kind of think about it China unleashes this virus on the world and the United States is you know …”
“… in China is controlled by the government. If they want to go after them, no one can make any drug. If the government didn't want us to get the ingredients to make fentanyl or in Mexico. No one could. We wouldn't get it. Yes. It's a state-operated business. Right. And then people forget. Forget COVID. How many died? How many died? Let's put all the numbers together and that is your ladybug. Well, here's the thing. I'll tell you what's crazy about this goddamn country. It was pretty clear that COVID came from a lab and not from a wet market. And anybody who suggested that it came from a lab instead of a wet market was pilloried and destroyed in this country. Now that is the most insane thing in the world because because China I mean you have to kind of think about it China unleashes this virus on the world and the United States is you know economy is destroyed schools are closed businesses shut down people locked in their homes And anybody who suggested that it could have come from a lab was destroyed in this country. You know what? Trump's greatest move, Dawson, came from China. The whole China virus. That clip is the greatest fucking clip in the world because and by the way, everyone …”
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In this segment, the host hilariously connects the COVID lab leak theory to a humorous metaphor about ladybugs, while passionately critiquing the media's response. The outrageous claim that more Americans died from fentanyl than in major wars adds a shocking twist that keeps listeners engaged and laughing.
“And Rihanna, we're going to start with you. Are you happy that The Comeback is back? Absolutely. I mean, I love The Comeback. I think Valerie Cherish is an icon. I see The Comeback as perhaps the greatest comedic character study of the 21st century, in my opinion. it's used as a prism to understand Hollywood. And I think the first season was about forging who Valerie Cherish was, the Valerie Cherish persona. The second season for me was cracking that visage. You watch her kind of short circuit. And in this season, …”
“And Rihanna, we're going to start with you. Are you happy that The Comeback is back? Absolutely. I mean, I love The Comeback. I think Valerie Cherish is an icon. I see The Comeback as perhaps the greatest comedic character study of the 21st century, in my opinion. it's used as a prism to understand Hollywood. And I think the first season was about forging who Valerie Cherish was, the Valerie Cherish persona. The second season for me was cracking that visage. You watch her kind of short circuit. And in this season, we see who Valerie Cherish is picking up the pieces and rebuilding herself. after the past decade. And I thought the season was really funny. I think there's a lot of elements to it that call back to the first two seasons, particularly the first season's use of chaos. You know, there's a lot of shots in this season that they have a lot going on. …”
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Rihanna expresses her excitement for the return of HBO's beloved comedy, The Comeback, featuring the iconic character Valerie Cherish, played by Lisa Kudrow. She describes the show as a profound comedic character study that reflects Hollywood's complexities, highlighting its chaotic yet humorous storytelling. Glenn adds that the show's return is a significant cultural event, especially in the LGBTQ+ community, comparing it to major cultural milestones.
“… team. And he's got a memoir out, Landon, a memoir, and it's available now. And it sort of covers your journey from prodigy, hero, burnout, and comeback. Burnout. So, I mean, you started real young playing soccer, right? As soon as I could walk, because I have an older brother who's five and a half years old, or five years older than me. So as soon as I I mean he was just desperate to play with someone Right So as soon as I could walk he had a ball at my feet Thank God Right So you starting at three four years old And when you go soccer didn used to be a thing out here so much at all Not …”
“Played, how many, 16, 15 years in the league? Yeah, ish. Lots. He's the all-time assist leader for U.S. men's national soccer team. And he's got a memoir out, Landon, a memoir, and it's available now. And it sort of covers your journey from prodigy, hero, burnout, and comeback. Burnout. So, I mean, you started real young playing soccer, right? As soon as I could walk, because I have an older brother who's five and a half years old, or five years older than me. So as soon as I I mean he was just desperate to play with someone Right So as soon as I could walk he had a ball at my feet Thank God Right So you starting at three four years old And when you go soccer didn used to be a thing out here so much at all Not even close. No. I always had this analogy, but you tell me what you think. People would say all the time, we have the best soccer player. Sorry, we have the best athletes in the world. We always just say that. I don't know if it's true. Maybe it just means black guys. I don't know. But we go, we have the best athletes in the world. Why are we getting …”
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Landon Donovan humorously tackles the misconception that the U.S. has the best athletes but struggles in soccer. He shares a funny analogy about how generational involvement in sports shapes success, contrasting soccer's recent emergence in America with other long-established sports. The banter about cultural differences and generational gaps adds a light-hearted touch to the serious topic of soccer's growth.
“… who is the first celebrity that actually left you starstruck oh shit oh damn you know what so crazy okay obviously you probably had the same thing where it like this is what we do right so you like play cool play cool And you meet some people and there so much more like human and chill than you thought they would be So you actually not as like woo, like, oh my God, you're actually like, oh, you're cool as fuck. Like we can have a conversation and I don't feel what I thought I was going to feel in the best way, not in a bad way. But I would say when I did the Oscars for the first time and I was …”
“… to recalibrate. Okay. Good answer. What's the worst habit you have? You know what it used to be? Biting my nails. these are my actual nails y'all oh i do not buy my nails no more i am so bad at that and that's why i just do gel because i'm like okay who is the first celebrity that actually left you starstruck oh shit oh damn you know what so crazy okay obviously you probably had the same thing where it like this is what we do right so you like play cool play cool And you meet some people and there so much more like human and chill than you thought they would be So you actually not as like woo, like, oh my God, you're actually like, oh, you're cool as fuck. Like we can have a conversation and I don't feel what I thought I was going to feel in the best way, not in a bad way. But I would say when I did the Oscars for the first time and I was doing the rehearsals on the stage, I wasn't even starstruck by the person themselves, but the photo cards that they have of them you know how they have pictures of them yeah yeah yeah girl denzel washington i was like i've seen him in so many movies like why is it that i'm freaking out right now like he's gonna be right there when i'm when i'm …”
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In a light-hearted moment, Becky G reveals her love for food, humorously declaring that if it comes down to choosing between a date and a meal, food will always win. The absurdity of her priorities shines through as she shares her worst date story, making it relatable and laugh-out-loud funny.
“andy kaufman fan who was a performance they call him a comedian but he's very much a performance artist in like the late 70s early 80s he would do things like well you may know him you ever watch Taxi on Nick at Night, the show? No. It wasn't on during our live. Oh, you do? Yes. He's like Lotka on Taxi. Oh, thank you very much. He was on Saturday Night Live, but he was not a joke guy. Right. And so he would do things like when he was touring, people would come because he was Lotka on Taxi and he kind of …”
“andy kaufman fan who was a performance they call him a comedian but he's very much a performance artist in like the late 70s early 80s he would do things like well you may know him you ever watch Taxi on Nick at Night, the show? No. It wasn't on during our live. Oh, you do? Yes. He's like Lotka on Taxi. Oh, thank you very much. He was on Saturday Night Live, but he was not a joke guy. Right. And so he would do things like when he was touring, people would come because he was Lotka on Taxi and he kind of was annoyed by that. So he'd go, all right. And he would put a tent up on stage as part of his act and then just go to sleep in it. And everybody would be like, what's happening? He never would come out. Come on. So that was his performance art. He would do stuff like read like War and Peace and he would be like page one and just read the book …”
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In this hilarious segment, the hosts discuss Andy Kaufman's outrageous performance art, including his infamous act of sleeping on stage, leaving the audience baffled. The banter takes a comedic turn as they debate whether Kaufman's antics were brave or just plain annoying, leading to a heartfelt moment about a thoughtful gift related to Kaufman.
“It's a vintage place. Okay. But I can buy new clothes, too. I just like vintage. You're looking at me like, I don't know. I like it when somebody already sweated in it. Whatever. It's very Turkish, Shabyo. Yes. Yeah. The joke is fantastic. Tell us more about how life has changed since winning a golden ticket. What's going on? Life in Texas for Orhun Timor. Well, in Texas, it's amazing, first of all. I've been getting a lot of opportunities. In general, because I'm Turkish, it's not always heavy. 90% of my country is very like, yay, flags, all that. 10% of my country think I'm a traitor. And four …”
“It's a vintage place. Okay. But I can buy new clothes, too. I just like vintage. You're looking at me like, I don't know. I like it when somebody already sweated in it. Whatever. It's very Turkish, Shabyo. Yes. Yeah. The joke is fantastic. Tell us more about how life has changed since winning a golden ticket. What's going on? Life in Texas for Orhun Timor. Well, in Texas, it's amazing, first of all. I've been getting a lot of opportunities. In general, because I'm Turkish, it's not always heavy. 90% of my country is very like, yay, flags, all that. 10% of my country think I'm a traitor. And four people think I work for Israel. Well, yeah, that's going to happen a lot. Anytime anybody does good or bad at anything. He just proved it, too. Now I'm fucked. If you make it – You fucked me, dude. Get a screenshot of that and send it back to Istanbul. It's just a thing now. The world is on to the Israelis because of the internet. So if anybody …”
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In a hilariously candid discussion, a comedian reveals that in Turkey, eating cow testicles is a common practice, jokingly referring to them as 'life eggs' that supposedly boost energy. The banter escalates as they share their own experiences with cultural stereotypes, leading to uproarious moments about identity and absurdity. The absurdity of discussing 'comedy nudes' adds an extra layer of hilarity to the conversation.
“I loved the crime scene walkthrough where all the sex toys and everything are out. And our favorite policeman is like, get a load of this. This is the inflatable sex. It looks like an inflatable neck pillow. And he's reading the description. There's so many instructions on that. There's so many instructions that he's reading off of the pillow itself. A, number one, I'm not touching that pillow. It's fully inflated. inflated also it has just been inflated which must mean it was just …”
“I loved the crime scene walkthrough where all the sex toys and everything are out. And our favorite policeman is like, get a load of this. This is the inflatable sex. It looks like an inflatable neck pillow. And he's reading the description. There's so many instructions on that. There's so many instructions that he's reading off of the pillow itself. A, number one, I'm not touching that pillow. It's fully inflated. inflated also it has just been inflated which must mean it was just used oh so why is he handling it so casually and why is it on the pillow i mean it's literally it's an advertisement for the pillow on the box deep-seated massage oil And over here we have a Harmony pillow. This pillow allows deeper penetration by positioning both partners most advantageously. It raises the female hips, facilitating male entry. You …”
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Ridealong summary
The segment dives into a hilariously absurd crime scene walkthrough featuring sex toys, with one officer casually handling an inflatable sex pillow as if it's just another day at the office. The comedic peak comes when they discuss the detailed instructions on the pillow, highlighting the ridiculousness of a 'deep-seated massage oil' and its ability to facilitate 'male entry' with varying degrees of hardness. It's a perfect blend of absurdity and humor that keeps listeners laughing.
“… It is double-sided. Like if Dr. Seuss was a doctor at Ty Marion's hospital. Who knows what's going to happen? Does he lose his virginity? Here we go. Oh. Here we go. It's the juiced up part of the poem. Vagina, pussy, beaver, and ham. Ham? Yeah, sure. Ham? I had to rhyme it. All right, hey, work with me, work with me. All right. I love to suck ham. Hey, don't make me start this over. All right, I'm about to. All right, all right. Beaver and ham. Vajayjay, clitoris, coochie, and clam. There it is. I got a job, and the first week went great. I laid low. They trusted me. They took the …”
“I would never tell a soul my plans If no one at school was going to fuck me I should get a job Maybe one of them will suck me How long is this fucking poem All right, all right, all right. Double-sided. Double-sided. It is double-sided. It is double-sided. Like if Dr. Seuss was a doctor at Ty Marion's hospital. Who knows what's going to happen? Does he lose his virginity? Here we go. Oh. Here we go. It's the juiced up part of the poem. Vagina, pussy, beaver, and ham. Ham? Yeah, sure. Ham? I had to rhyme it. All right, hey, work with me, work with me. All right. I love to suck ham. Hey, don't make me start this over. All right, I'm about to. All right, all right. Beaver and ham. Vajayjay, clitoris, coochie, and clam. There it is. I got a job, and the first week went great. I laid low. They trusted me. They took the bait. They asked me, hey, would you be able to work late? I knew having sex was in my fate. I need you to stay late to feed the animals at night. Of course, I said, it would be a delight. Yes, it's true. The job I got is at a zoo. Once everyone... Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. I gotta get you out of here. Is it like getting anywhere? It's going …”
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This segment features a wildly humorous poem about a man's outrageous sexual escapades at a zoo, culminating in the unforgettable line about a hippo's fart. The absurdity of mixing animal encounters with raunchy humor creates a laugh-out-loud moment that keeps listeners engaged and entertained.
“… onto a part of the chest to make it into a more masculine appearance and positioning. And I mean, I feel like to any adult with common sense, that already sounds pretty, pretty gory. And it's a very, it's a terrific process to go through. It all sounds kind of ghoulish to me. Like if I was a surgeon, you know, people get into professions thinking they're going to do one thing and sometimes end up doing another. You know, like they sometimes people go, I'm going to be a cop so I can save lives and make a difference. The next thing you know, you're writing chicken shit tickets to housewives. You …”
“… we are going to take the tissue out and leave a little bit in for contouring purposes. But we're also going to take your areolas, the skin around your nipples, and we are going to basically cut that and make it so that it's in, and like paste it onto a part of the chest to make it into a more masculine appearance and positioning. And I mean, I feel like to any adult with common sense, that already sounds pretty, pretty gory. And it's a very, it's a terrific process to go through. It all sounds kind of ghoulish to me. Like if I was a surgeon, you know, people get into professions thinking they're going to do one thing and sometimes end up doing another. You know, like they sometimes people go, I'm going to be a cop so I can save lives and make a difference. The next thing you know, you're writing chicken shit tickets to housewives. You know what I mean? That's sort of your lot. But but it didn't help that it was so matter of fact about it. And they use these cute terms like top surgery and bottom surgery to make it sound like it's less scary than it actually is. I'm just saying like your average surgeon thinks he's going to be on some ship helping kids from Africa with their cleft …”
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Chloe Cole shares a shocking and gory account of her top surgery experience, humorously critiquing the nonchalant attitudes of surgeons. Her comparison of a surgeon's idealistic dreams versus the grim reality of their work adds a dark comedic twist to her serious narrative.
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